II.                 Anglo-Indian Immigrant in England

England had been the spiritual home of Anglo-Indians. Their speech was English, their social institutions were imitative British, their religions were Christian, they were conscious and proud of their British ancestry, nearly all with some early connection with the British Army in India. While in India, Anglo-Indians intuitively enjoyed the comforting thought they would be accepted in Britain (or the "white" British Commonwealth) and be recognized there as well-meaning equal partners, if not relatives.

In England the fair Anglo-Indians for the most part disappeared discreetly into the general population; the darker Anglo-Indians went through the pains of being treated as coloured aliens. There was some visible minority in me, but not much, yet, though I lived five years in England, I never escaped the discomfort of being a misfit, treated politely but different and inferior. During this time, living with people who were not Anglo-Indian ethnically or culturally, and who did not know who and what Anglo-Indians were, sharpened my awareness of my Anglo-Indian identity. I initially resented the differentiation and often second-class identification, but with time I accepted that I should not expect equal treatment to the English born. Nonetheless, I never settled for the second-class aspects of being an Anglo-Indian in England.

On the dock at Tilbury, where the ship from India lowered the gangways to disembark, Anglo-Indians scuttled about like displaced ants. Olive's children met us and we were taken to pre-arranged lodgings, on the way we admired the public transportation systems and were entertained by our first view of a light snowfall. Being a spectator of the passing scene ended when I started looking for work. At the Croydon Labour Exchange I was asked by another seeker of work, "how are things in Africa?" Croydon had a well- established International Students' Institute and Hostel and there were quite a few African-looking persons on the main streets. No doubt I was being mistaken for one of these, perhaps because of my wiry hair and a general vague un-English appearance, and, when I spoke, by my definite, unplaced, un-English accent. I replied to my friendly enquirer that all was well in Africa. The decision to avoid explanations of Anglo-Indianism became a regular omission in my conversation; it did no harm to let the English proceed on their own assumptions unless the talk was prolonged and the enquiry somewhat more than idly curious. My un-English accent confused many: it was a somewhat educated accent, yet non-U and definitely foreign and therefore ambiguous in the "class" sense. Because of my speech I could be treated with a superficial deference in one situation and with polite or indifferent condescension in another. Personally, I rarely experienced open ethnic hostility, but I was continually made aware that I was different and less than English, and it irked.

I did a few labouring jobs while waiting for permission from the Ministry of Education to teach school and after some weeks the permission came through and I got supply-teaching work in a number of Surrey Secondary Modern Schools. These were mainly pleasant experiences. One Headmaster told me to apply to his school when a vacancy was advertised. One friendly boy said in class, "Sir, if it wasn't for your hair you could be English." Some experiences were amusing: one Headmistress objected to my keeping my hands in my pockets, which annoyed her to such an extent that she asked for a replacement for me. Another Headmaster was a caricature, a spitfire, all sparks and indignation. One "morning prayers" he held up proceedings because he had heard the word "temptations" instead of "temptation" during the saying of the Lord's Prayer. He walked to a row of bigger boys and scrutinized each while he asked, "did you say temptations?" The school knew such an attempt at intimidation was fatuous and doomed to failure, nor were students and staff disappointed.

Meanwhile, I did make two applications for teaching posts that were advertised in newspapers and was interviewed for both. The first interview was followed by a rejection slip. The Royal Navy wanted teachers as temporary commissioned officers in their Education Service. I was interviewed by two naval officers at the Admiralty Building in London. The first interview was more of a chat about Elizabethan dramatists and went well. I then went for a medical examination. Finally, there was an interview with a senior officer, which is where things must have gone wrong for me. This officer asked me if India should have been granted independence, to which I answered that it was right for India. My reasons for my answer were not sought. I felt at the time that the officer, who seemed a very conservative, British Empire sort of person, had no further interest in my application.

The second interview was with the Headmaster of Shoreham Grammar School (now Shoreham College), a private school, part day school and part boarding school, situated on the coast in Sussex. He showed an interest in a testimonial I had presented from a teacher at Victoria School, who mentioned I had been a school cadet in the Northern Bengal Mounted Rifles.  The Headmaster asked if I would take cadets at the school and, though I had no military inclinations, I said I would. The offer of a post as an assistant teacher at the school followed.

Before I went to Shoreham Grammar as an Assistant Master I worked night shifts at a factory in Mitcham, Surrey. It was a dreadful job, scraping the rust off large panels, for which I was equipped with wire brushes and masks. Relief came at midnight, the time of the tea break.

Some of the men played cards and I always hung around to listen to the imaginative and lascivious swearing of one of the card players. When he lost, the Queens got the worst of it : their sexual characteristics and activities were astonishing, novel and amusing. That man could have made his fortune in vaudeville.

I was at Shoreham Grammar over four years and during that time came as close as I ever did, without making it, to becoming integrated into English society. I had been brought up on English games and it paid off. I umpired and refereed many home and away cricket and soccer matches for the school and played with the school cricket team and for local cricket and field hockey teams and represented the county of Sussex at hockey. I had something of a social life.

While I was at Shoreham Grammar there were some major stresses between Olive and me. Her son and daughter and their families stayed with us separately over lengthy periods and they and I did not get on very well. My father, who now had a second family, immigrated to England and did not come to us because of Olive's objections. Similarly, when my sister and her children came to visit me from the U.S., Olive would not let them stay with us. The goodwill Olive and I shared was used up fast.

My sister's visit coincided with the annual cadet camp I attended with Shoreham Grammar cadets. I quickly became aware my sister as a U.S. citizen harboured no second-class inferiorities. My own social position by comparison was distinctly uncomfortable. A teacher from the famous Blue Coat school (Christ's Hospital), also at camp with cadets, gave me some advice out of a passing regard for me. It was that I should go to America, where I would do better than I would in England. I seriously considered that I should go to America. Olive was indifferent to my decision.

In the five years I lived in England I came to love the country and admire the English, a respect I have never lost. I have been back on visits twice and they have been enjoyable experiences, different from when I was trying to be “one of them”. However, the natural state of Anglo-Indians being between and betwixt, I have concerned myself with finding a reasonably comfortable accommodation in life and avoided resentment. Canada gave me that chance.